Remember the jingle; She has personality, walk, personality, talk, personality?
I just took a personality test, for the 10th time. They all come out the same. I am enthusiastic, persuasive, idea girl, cooperative, talkative, trusting, I like to be bossed rather than boss. I like to be liked. This works out great because Dennis likes to be the boss and loves to quote Putty from Seinfeld and say, “Quit bossing me!” He is results oriented so he follows through with my ideas. He is bold and mixed with my enthusiasm we push through our plans.
Oh this doesn’t come without challenges. How about when he asks me to fill out forms or do mundane tasks, which I abhor and I get distracted by shiney objects (aka people or some kind of social interaction)? He is goal driven and judges by goals achieved! Ugh, this can get ugly fast.
Alas, in all of the joys and trials of our differences we have come to appreciate them.
The other day Dennis was flying, we headed to a place we hadn’t been before in a crowded air space. Dennis was nervous and uptight. Sometimes I forget to keep my mouth shut. I chit chat, he is quiet and curt. Oh, I realize he is focused and I need to be quiet, there is so much to do when you fly. So we land, beautifully and when we took off to return home he said, “Sorry I get so weird.” I returned, “It’s not weird it’s focused. If you aren’t focused and driven to be the best we wouldn’t own a plane!” He smiled.
Not so long ago that would have gone a lot differently. I would have been hurt and felt rejected because he wasn’t responding to me. He would have gotten frustrated. He would not have apologized, I would have pouted and we would have flown home in silence.
We chatted with the pleasure of his accomplishment!
Marriage is tough. We learn from God’s word to be humble and put others first:
Philippians 2:2-4 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Sometimes it’s tough to look at our spouse’s differences as strengths. When we learn how our spouse ticks and recognize our own strengths and most importantly in marriage, our weaknesses. We understand that he is not just being difficult or thoughtless. She is not just being thin-skinned or impulsive. We just need balance and understanding.
There are many personality tests out there. The Enneagram has a free personality test on line, I think you can find it on Facebook. Just ask one of my nieces to find it for you!
Learn the personalities of those around you. There are great books by Florence Littauer, Laurie Beth Jones, Gary Smalley and more to learn your’s, your spouse’s and your children’s personalities. Relationships around you will flourish with understanding.
Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom! Get understanding!
Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
I love learning and most of all I love learning about people.