Fear vs Trust

It’s been quite a year. Heartache and joy. We’ve (my sister Micki and I) made the decision to celebrate everything. Yes anguish, fear, pain, grief can paralyze and hold your soul captive but don’t get stuck there. If you look back at your life and see how many times God has answered the call, “Help, I need You!” you can use those experiences to press through whatever it is you are needing of Him now. 2 Timothy 1:6-7 Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

I’ve learned that the little knee scrapes and goofs prepare you for the catastrophic events that knock you to your knees or  the blindsided blow for the knock out.

Thanks to Beth Moore in her Bible Study Esther she goes through a scenario of If _____ Then God. Meaning there is nothing you can go through that God isn’t the answer. I have used this to get me through the darkest days. No matter what, I have God and I have seen Him provide and stabilize my entire life.

I’ve been spending time reading about Jesus, spending time reading in the book of Luke about His life here on earth. Over and over again we see how he changed lives. See, He came to change us not to leave us the same. Our times of mourning and tragedy can be used as times of change. Please don’t think I am calloused, I do hurt and mourn over the death of my sister or a move that has taken me thousands of miles away from my family and all that is familiar. Know this. Philippians 1:20:21 whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. “Then God”.

Everything is …. Then God. He is our refuge. Try Him. Oh believe me, it really has always been “A Matter of Trust”. How to trust Him to make things right, or to heal the hurt that weighs so heavy on our hearts, or put just the right person at the right time in my life to walk along the way?

As we walk into a season where the river has risen, all of the memories of Mary’s tragic death come flying to the surface. I have to choose Life or Death. I will choose life.

Psalm 71 is so beautiful, reading it guides us from the time we saw God in our need so we can lean on Him again through this time.

Verses 1-5

In You, O Lord, I put my trust;
Let me never be put to shame.
Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape;
Incline Your ear to me, and save me.
Be my strong refuge,
To which I may resort continually;
You have given the commandment to save me,
For You are my rock and my fortress.

Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked,
Out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man.
For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;
You are my trust from my youth.

Then God,

Susie

Posted in Family, God's Promises, Thankful, Things I learn | 1 Comment

It’s OK

February 8, 2014.

I sit drinking coffee watching the sky change from darkness to shades of pink reflecting  the sun as it rises over the mountain. I reflect on my life with my little sister and best friend. We all have a story, our’s is so intertwined it is hard to tell mine without hers.

We all have struggles, we all wrestle. I don’t ever want to fear struggles. Oh sometimes I run from them, ran fast and far. But isn’t facing our challenges and finding victory so rewarding?

My mother-in-law had her knee replaced last year. She suffered so long with pain and swelling in her joint it was debilitating and depressing. After the replacement and rehabilitation she said, like so many other joint replacement recipients, “I can’t believe I waited this long.”

Sometimes you have to go through the surgery and rehab to get to the victory. If you follow the life and the stories of Jesus you see He didn’t tell the people who were suffering from physical, spiritual or emotional issues to go and live with it for a while, think about it day and night, let it ruin your sleep, let it get in the way of your success. No this is what He said; “You are healed.” “Lazerus come forth.”

Matthew 20:32-34 So Jesus stood still and called them, and said, “What do you want Me to do for you?”They said to Him, “Lord, that our eyes may be opened.” So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.

When Zacchaeus climbed the tree to see Jesus this is what happened;

Luke 19:5-6  When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name.“Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy.

Whatever it is, time to give it to Jesus and move on, be free. Maybe it’s a habit, maybe like me it’s obedience, drop the busy-ness and follow Jesus. He will guide you on His path and it will be much better than yours ;)

Pressing, Susie

 

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Quiet

House built ~ Check

Landscaping in ~ Check

Well Drilled and hooked up ~ Check

It is all quiet on the Hualapai Front.

We are settled and are excited about moving forward.

Hmm, Father’s Day. I was buying Father’s Day cards yesterday and really missed Mary. See we didn’t talk often. She was not like Micki and me, she was happy talking occasionally. But there are always givens. One given is Father’s Day card shopping. Mary and Micki and I had a bond that no one else would know (Well our mom knew). We are the 3 little girls. We are connected in a life that no one else shared. We are witnesses. We are confidantes. We are secret. We giggled and made eachother laugh through all of our milestones and all of our dispair. We shared joys and triumphs.

Moving forward and loving life.

Giggling about my cherished memories.

God is only Good ~ Susie

Posted in Family, Thankful | 2 Comments

Blessing in the Storm

The Truth shall set you free.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

No matter what season we are in there is one Truth. Jesus said He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

I have experienced some incredible highs in my life when I am singing, dancing and rejoicing in the love of our Lord. On the contrary I have been through some doozy trials and tragedies still to find, singing, dancing and rejoicing in the love of our Lord.

Paul says, “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say Rejoice.” There was a time when I looked at that and thought. What if I was faced with a devastating trial? Is Rejoice the right word?

Well, I’m here to tell you, yes, Rejoice in the Lord always. God is only good.three girls

While spinning through the disappearance and death of my sister I asked for clarity. He gave it (mind you, I had to ask often, I spun and spun). Tragedy and death of someone dear to you brings out emotions and thoughts you never imagined. God was faithful from beginning to end. He is. Romans 12:2 be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This isn’t just once, this is constant. Our mind thinks crazy thoughts, we constantly have to renew it to keep our imaginations and arguments captive to the obedience of God (2 Cor 10:5).

There is a song by Kirk Franklin that says, “There’s a blessing in the storm, just help me see it.” Well, the midst of the storm that was my sister Mary’s death, our family saw blessings and miracles unfold right before our eyes. Our lives are changed. And we saw and continue to see the generosity and compassion of people who love us and know us well as well as complete strangers and acquaintances.

God is good and His mercy endures forever!

I’m so thankful I can see through faith eyes when my own are clouded with despair.

Loving the Truth ~ Susie

Posted in Family, God's Promises, Things I learn | 5 Comments

Good Things to Know

Once upon a time, there was a girl who grew up in the city, she ate her meat out of a package that came from Meijer, tomatoes out of her mom’s garden or from the Meijer produce section. She never lived further than 3 miles from a grocery store. Enter knight in shining armor otherwise known as the hunter. The hunter was disguised as a man about town; he dressed the part, lived in the city, loved the finer things in life for instance; the theatre, fine dining restaurants, travel, etc.

Suddenly the hunter exposes his comoflauge and cowboy boots and sweeps the scraped up princess to the mountains of Arizona. The hunter and now mended huntress build a home on the mountain. With their Year and a half project drawing to the end she is outside spraying the porch when she hears her contractor yell, “Susan, you have cows!!” Immediately she thinks, ELK, because the hunter has trained her to the proper cow verses girl elk when referring to the female of the species. With excitement she runs across their newly landscaped yard to find…

2013-03-22_15-45-00_560

not the beautiful female elk she was hoping to find on their land but the gigantic cloven prints of CATTLE across their beautiful vibrant new grass and landscape! The bohemoth divots left in the new turf, turned up infant plants, chewed up and left to dry, and the recently, lovely, flowering crabapple tree now looking more like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree is an on going reminder of midnight visitors.2013-03-30_15-25-51_12
Even the sandy hill was not left unscathed, they trampled across easily as if flat ground. 2013-03-30_15-17-22_319The Yellow Page ad keeps running through her mind, “Phone First!”

This would be when due diligence would have come in handy. A country girl may have know better. Perhaps a call to the neighborhood association to find out this beautiful mountain side they are building on is FREE RANGE!! Who knew? Evidently the residence of Lazy Y U on the Hualapai Mountain Range knew, the sheriff knew, the builder knew. ;) 2013-03-21_16-57-46_12The kind ranch owner, was out the next day in search of his wayward cattle that drifted onto our lovely landscaped and irrigated land.

The sheriff, I’m sure with his tonguedeeply embedded in his cheek answered my questions with, “Free Range ma’am, if you want the cattle kept out of your yard, build a fence.”

Teri, my lovely sherpa, tries to keep me from embarrassing myself and normally stops me from making these sort of calls allowed me to make the call to confirm Free Range.

Well another lesson learned for this city girl living on a mountain. Next week I will be hiring  a fence builder on to phase three of the Dunning, Mohave County, Hualapai Mountain experience.

Schooled ~Susie

 

Posted in Dreamy Doctor Dunning, Kingman, Our new home, Things I learn | 2 Comments

Recovery

I have been running for almost twenty years. I started because I gained quite a bit of weight and was cramming my mouth full of Oreos. I have done some sort of fitness throughout my life, I couldn’t afford to join a gym, I was working two jobs and had a goofy schedule so I thought a pair of running shoes would be a reasonable investment. My pastor was a runner so I asked him, “I want to start running what should I do?” He told me where to buy shoes and how to get started. So it began. I didn’t know how much I would love it. I have been so blessed to travel; I pack my shoes and running gear and see city from a different perspective. I’ve run the streets of Barcelona, SpainD&Sbarcelona Grand Rapids, MI with Kirstiend riverbank The streets of New York, Central Park was a dream come true. The street vendor hot dog was a treat.356_44764532867_2358_n Steamy Panama370_44758357867_3620_n Running through the streets of our nations capitol is the creme de la creme!356_44739647867_3785_n Completed the Austin Marathon with Brett417312_10150740556087868_711770847_n Yes I ran the streets of Jerusalem (Jane my partner and I ran and ran)206911_10150183937392868_4070684_nThe streets of San Francisco have felt my feet hit the pavement, The stale beer smelling streets of the French Quarter in New Orleans have had these fresh morning feet trod along, Honduras, Georgia, Florida and on and on. I have never been injured. I have had a few aches and pains but I met my match…   283532_10150320623972868_1872657_nThe roads of the Hualapai Mountains think they won but I will be back! I think it’s my new shoes. Why oh why does Brooks have to change their shoes every year?? They have been working for me, why change?

So I have some sort of Achilles tendonosis/itis and I am grounded. Hmm, I biked these brutal hills for my “light biking” that I can do with this tendon issue. I am going to be back hitting the pool and maybe a little more consistent with Tony and the P90X gang.

All I know is;  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Phil 4:13 I will thank God for where we live and the privilege to be here Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

All this to say; Psalm 91:9-13 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

Oh how I love the Lord ~ Susie

Posted in Exercise, God's Promises, Travel | 4 Comments

Good Morning

I woke up this morning singing, “Open the eyes of my heart” by Paul Baloche.

A simple prayer lifted to the Lord. I want to see God in His majesty, be close enough to Him that I know in my heart what my next move should be. I will take on giants with His will on my side!

I Left my blog, in August. Whew, it was quite a whirl wind and I feel like I fell asleep and went into auto pilot. So we are now moved in our house, settled with a few minor details here and there. At the end of April we will celebrate two years in the desert. God is so faithful. It’s been 3 months since I saw Zoe, Brett and Angela sure do miss them. I got a glimpse of Erin and Carter, that helps. And of course celebrated Samantha’s 30th birthday and St. Patrick’s Day with her and a mound of other family in Grand Rapids.

Off to start my day. Stay tuned :)

Illuminated ~ Susie

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